Sunday, 10 November 2013

Never hit on Vice Squad- Why I'm not for Same Sex Marriage

(This piece was published in the Irish Daily Mirror but not all Mirror articles are made available online)
I was arrested once for chatting up a big, burly member of the Vice
Squad, wasting his time chasing gay guys like me. Every time I hear proponents of Same Sex marriage telling me that they want the state to endorse and validate our relationships I think of that night. I want to keep the state out of my relationships, and, as much as possible out of my life.

Same Sex Marriage is not some warm fluffy equality bunny, it’s a bare-faced state power grab. The state gets to entirely remake marriage, not as the man/woman/child model we’ve inherited from 10,000 years of history and across all cultures but as an anything-goes irrelevant partnership agreement between adults.

Only a man and a woman have children despite every fantasy the gender-busters want us to believe. Every child has a right to that natural life. Same sex marriage asks us to ignore reality and children’s rights to a mother and father. Marriage will be made irrelevant because this re-make says that, for the first time, children and parenthood has no natural place in marriage. If you have children, the kindly, benevolent state will set your relationship with them.

If you don’t want a gay marriage don’t get one? Everyone gets one because, in the eyes of the state, marriage will be about adults, not about a man and a woman committing to making and raising children
Politicians love us to believe we belong to some victim class so they can save us. I’m a gay man, I am not a victim and I reject this notion that traditional marriage should be drastically altered for some fantasy. Yes, gay people need to give legal force to their relationships but for that we have civil unions, not a one size fits all marriage, emptied of meaning to suit the romantic whims of adults.

People get married for their own reasons but we have marriage because marriage has a meaning and does a vital job not just for individuals but for society. Claiming that equality demands that men and women be as interchangeable as Lego blocks shows you don’t understand men and women, marriage or much else. Profound ignorance is a poor basis for massive change.

Redressing historical wrongs may be worse basis. Yes, gay people had a hard time. The night I was arrested was brutal, terrifying experience and a terrible waste of Garda time but that was in long ago, in a very distant galaxy. Ireland is a very different place for us now: pretending otherwise is to trap gay people in a damaging victim culture.

We can ignore reality all we want but the out-comes for children are not the same across all family models. Marriage of a man and a woman gives children the best chance. That doesn’t mean there are not great parents in other circumstances, just that the weight of evidence is stacked against them.

Chocolate is good, more chocolate is better; living on chocolate would be great. You can get from one simple proposition to a very wrong idea very fast. The politicians who say they will save me with Same Sex Marriage are doing just that.

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